i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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