haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
