Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
