i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
