We won't sleep together?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
