Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize