I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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