YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize