names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
