So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
