So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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