What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
