And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is my gift to your gina
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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