I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
