My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
where am i from again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
