Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
