I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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