her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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