An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
