Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
