i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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