At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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