Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
