also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
