It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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