She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
