if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize