I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
