Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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