walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
