peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
