Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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