On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
whose parrot is this?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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