is your mom at the bar?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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