Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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