He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize