whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
