New invention idea: vibrating tampons
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
