My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
