She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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