Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
