i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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