So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
