We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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