just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
