Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
