this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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