Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize