Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
