when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize