did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
