Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
