in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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