Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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