I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
