My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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