Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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