Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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