i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
