Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
