Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
