great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
